Are You Really a Good Listener?by Jeffrey Yip and Colin M. Fisher - HBR

In today’s workplace, strong leadership isn’t just about giving great speeches or having all the answers—it’s about listening. Research consistently shows that when leaders truly listen, teams thrive. Morale improves. Performance goes up. Trust deepens.

But here’s the catch: most managers aren’t good listeners. Even the ones who want to be.

So what’s going wrong?

The Power—and Problem—of Listening

From one-on-one meetings to massive town halls, companies invest in “listening moments.” It sounds good in theory, but these efforts often fall flat in practice. Why? Because real listening is hard work. It demands attention, empathy, and patience. And in a world of fast-paced decisions, high stress, and constant distractions, it’s easy for leaders to check the box without actually hearing anyone.

A comprehensive review of 117 academic papers on workplace listening confirms this: being a good listener is easy to describe but hard to do.

Let’s break down the five most common reasons leaders fail at listening—and how you can avoid those traps as a young entrepreneur.

1. Haste: Rushing the Moment

When you’re juggling dozens of priorities, it’s tempting to respond quickly and move on. But rushed listening usually backfires. Employees or team members walk away feeling unheard, even insulted.

Take the case of Andi Owen, CEO of MillerKnoll. In a 2023 town hall, she tried to motivate her team amid concerns about missed revenue goals and possible lost bonuses. But when someone asked what would happen if bonuses didn’t come through, she snapped: “Don’t ask about, ‘What are we going to do if we don’t get a bonus?’... Leave pity city!”

The clip went viral. Why? Because it didn’t feel like she was listening—it felt like she was brushing the concern aside.

🔑 Young Entrepreneur Takeaway:

You may be leading a small team or working on a startup idea, but remember: rushing conversations kills trust. Even if you’re busy, block out time to listen fully. Ask clarifying questions. Avoid interrupting. Make eye contact—even if it’s over Zoom. Your team will notice the difference.

2. Defensiveness: Taking Things Personally

When someone questions your decision or gives critical feedback, what’s your first instinct? If it’s to defend yourself, you’re not alone.

But defensiveness kills communication. It signals, “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

James Clarke, CEO of Clearlink, got defensive over a return-to-office policy that upset his employees. Instead of validating their concerns, he questioned their work ethic and even praised an employee who sold her dog to comply with the policy. Seriously.

Even Google’s Sundar Pichai and MillerKnoll’s Owen showed signs of defensiveness by dodging tough questions or cutting off discussions.

🔑 Young Entrepreneur Takeaway:

As a startup founder or team leader, you’ll get feedback you don’t like. Instead of reacting, pause. Say, “Thanks for raising that,” or “Tell me more.” Let people talk. Defensiveness blocks growth—for both you and your team.

3. Invisibility: You’re Not Showing You Care

Some leaders are listening—but they don’t show it. That’s a problem. People need to see that you’re paying attention.

Think about Sundar Pichai again. He didn’t stop caring about employee feedback, but when he changed Google’s TGIF meetings (which were seen as symbols of openness), employees felt shut out.

In politics, optics matter too. During a 1992 presidential debate, George Bush Sr. glanced at his watch as a voter asked him about the recession. That single moment was interpreted as “I don’t really care”—even if he did.

🔑 Young Entrepreneur Takeaway:

Use your body language: nod, keep eye contact, have an open posture. Say things like “I see what you mean” or “That makes sense.” Summarize what people tell you: “So you’re saying we might need more time for testing?” These small signals show that you’re engaged—and that builds trust.

4. Exhaustion: Burnout Kills Your Ears

Let’s be honest: listening is draining. If you’re tired, stressed, or emotionally spent, you won’t listen well—no matter how good your intentions are.

At big companies like Google, regular all-staff meetings once made sense. But as the company grew, the emotional load of constant feedback overwhelmed leaders. The same thing can happen to you—even with a team of 5.

According to research, managers who constantly listen to complaints without support start mistreating their teams without realizing it.

🔑 Young Entrepreneur Takeaway:

Protect your energy. Set clear times when people can bring issues to you—and when you need focused work time. If you’re drained, it’s OK to reschedule a conversation. Being honest about your limits shows maturity and respect.

Also, share the listening load. Don’t become the “therapist founder” for your team. Create a culture where team members support each other, not just you.

5. Inaction: Listening Without Doing

This is the most damaging mistake of all. Imagine you pour your heart out to your boss or co-founder... and nothing changes. Not even an explanation.

That’s what happened at Google in 2018. After sexual harassment concerns surfaced, slow leadership response led to a massive employee walkout. It wasn’t just the issue—it was the lack of action afterward that broke trust.

During the Covid-19 pandemic, many nurses reported feeling “unheard” even after meetings with hospital leaders—because nothing came of their feedback.

🔑 Young Entrepreneur Takeaway:

Don’t let feedback vanish into a black hole. Always close the loop:

• “Thanks for bringing this up.”

• “Here’s what I’m going to do next.”

• “Let’s check back on this next week.”

Even if you can’t act, explain why. Maybe it’s budget limits or timing. Be transparent. People are more understanding when they know you’re being real with them.

Listening ≠ Sitting Quietly

A lot of people confuse “listening” with “not talking.” But real listening means:

• Focusing deeply.

• Asking smart questions.

• Staying curious even when it’s uncomfortable.

• Taking action after the conversation.

You don’t need to be a Fortune 500 CEO to use these skills. In fact, the earlier you start practicing them, the better leader you’ll become.

What to Do Instead: A Listening Blueprint

Let’s break this down into actionable steps you can use right now:

✅ Before the Conversation

• Block out focused time—no notifications, no distractions.

• Remind yourself to stay curious, not defensive.

• If you’re tired, reschedule. Listening takes mental energy.

✅ During the Conversation

• Use open body language and eye contact.

• Nod, smile, and say “Got it,” “Interesting,” or “Tell me more.”

• Ask clarifying questions. Don’t jump to conclusions.

• Avoid interrupting—ever.

✅ After the Conversation

• Summarize what you heard to confirm understanding.

• Set next steps or share what you’ll do with the info.

• If no action is possible, explain why—and suggest alternatives.

• Follow up later to show that you’re keeping your word.

Why Listening is Your Superpower as a Young Entrepreneur

In early-stage businesses or side hustles, you don’t always have capital, a big team, or years of experience. But listening? That’s free. And it’s one of the most powerful things you can do to build loyalty, create great products, and grow as a leader.

• Listening helps you understand customer pain points.

• It helps you navigate conflict with co-founders.

• It makes you a better boss to interns, freelancers, and future hires.

Great startups are built on great conversations. And great conversations start with great listening.

Final Thought: Listening is a Muscle

Just like any skill, listening improves with practice. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present, humble, and open to feedback.

Remember the five traps:

1. Haste – You’re rushing.

2. Defensiveness – You’re taking it personally.

3. Invisibility – You’re not showing you care.

4. Exhaustion – You’re too drained to focus.

5. Inaction – You’re not following up.

Master the skill of listening, and you’ll become the kind of leader people trust, respect, and want to work with. And in the long run, that’s how you build something that lasts.

Great ideas and trust die when no one feels heard. 💥 Don’t be that leader.

👉 Read the full article to learn how to build real trust and unlock your team’s full potential

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